My Addiction

 

Overcoming Gambling Addiction: A Real Journey of Struggle and Hope

For years, I battled a chronic gambling (sporty bet, bet king and bet9ja) I explore and played all there features design for playing. , I was consumed by an addiction that took control of my life, leaving me financially unstable and emotionally drained. Like many others, I believed that gambling was a quick fix for my financial struggles and a way to escape the harsh reality of my situation. What started as a small attempt to double a little money quickly turned into a destructive habit that consumed me

The Struggle: How Gambling Took Over My Life

My gambling journey didn’t begin overnight. I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to start gambling. It was something that slowly crept into my life, lured in by friends back when I was in school. I was introduced to sports betting on campus by people who had already started. They seemed to be in control, making it look like an easy way to earn money. The truth is, while some people win from it, the percentage of those who actually win is very small, and the larger majority lose. Many people, like me, have suffered great losses due to addiction, even though a few have managed to make it big.

In the beginning, it felt exciting. The idea of turning small amounts of money into something bigger was alluring. But as I continued, I realized that the wins were rare, and the losses piled up. The excitement of winning a jackpot made me feel like I was in control, but deep down, I knew I was losing more than I won. Despite my promises to stop, I kept going back, convinced that this was the only way to recover my losses.

The Dangerous Allure of Gambling

The feeling of excitement that came with placing a bet was intoxicating. I would enter a betting shop with a small amount of money—sometimes as little as 5,000 naira hoping to stretch it out for the day. But before I knew it, I would withdraw more from the ATM or borrow money, convinced that I could win it back. I started thinking of the money as something temporary, like it didn’t really matter, and that I could always get more. But that false belief led me down a destructive path.

The losses mounted. I would lose thousands of naira at once, then decide to double my stake, thinking I could recover it. But instead, I ended up deeper in debt, feeling more hopeless with each loss. The more I tried to get my money back, the further I sank into the addiction. At times, I’d win a small amount say 20,000 naira and feel like I had control again, but that never lasted. I always stayed too long, thinking I could make more, only to lose it all again.

Believing Moment in Gambling

1. The Emotional High: Gambling creates a rush of adrenaline and dopamine. This makes you feel temporarily empowered and blinds you to the risks or consequences.
2. The Illusion of Control: There’s a belief that "this time, I’ll win it back," which keeps fueling the behavior.
3. Loss Aversion: Even if you’re losing, you feel compelled to keep playing to recover what’s already gone.

The Emotional and Physical Toll

Gambling wasn’t just a financial burden; it took a toll on my body and mind. I remember days when I would spend the entire day in a betting shop, standing for hours without eating or taking care of myself. I was consumed by the need to keep playing, to not face the reality of my situation. My physical health deteriorated as I neglected basic needs sometimes skipping meals, not showering, and staying up late into the night.

There was an emotional cost too. The guilt and shame that came after losing were overwhelming. I knew I was trapped, but the temptation to keep playing was too strong. I couldn’t stop. I would promise myself, “This is the last time,” but the next day, I would find myself back in the same place, doing the same thing.

The Consequences: Borrowing, Stealing, and Desperation

As my debts piled up, I resorted to extreme measures. I borrowed money from friends and family, and sometimes I even sold personal items in my home just to keep gambling. But when the money ran out, I did what I swore I would never do. I began stealing small amounts from others and begging for money to support my habit.

Even when I had nothing left, I would find a way to keep playing. I became consumed by the need to recover my losses, and the more I tried, the deeper I fell. There were times when I would take my entire salary, thinking I could double it, only to lose it all and end up desperate for a way to survive for the rest of the month.

The Turning Point: Realizing I Was Trapped

The turning point came when I hit rock bottom. I had no money left, and the weight of my debts was crushing. I realized that gambling wasn’t just a bad habit, it had become an addiction that was destroying every part of my life. In that moment, I understood that if I didn’t break free, I would lose everything.

I knew I had to make a change, but it wasn’t going to be easy. I needed help, and I needed to take responsibility for my actions. I couldn’t keep running away from my problems, hoping that gambling would fix everything. I had to face my reality.

Taking Responsibility:  A Plan to Break Free

I made a decision to take control of my life. The road to recovery wasn’t quick, but I knew it was possible. I started by seeking professional help and therapy. I worked on building self-discipline, setting small goals for myself, and learning to manage my impulses. I also started addressing my debt, one step at a time, rather than trying to solve everything at once.

For the first time in a long while, I began to feel a sense of hope. I started celebrating small victories—resisting the urge to gamble for one day, then another. Each victory, no matter how small, helped me build momentum. It wasn’t easy, and there were setbacks along the way, but I learned that change takes time, patience, and persistence.

Feeling Possessed: The Hold of Gambling

Lately, I started to think that gambling is more than just a habit. It feels like a demon inside me, something stuck that I’m battling with daily. It’s like a force takes over, and I lose control of my actions. I asked my therapist if this meant I was possessed, and their response gave me hope and perspective:

“Perfect, it’s completely understandable to feel like gambling has a grip on you, almost as if it’s an external force controlling your actions. While it might feel like a ‘demon’ inside, this is often how addiction works. It hijacks your thoughts, emotions, and decision-making. But here’s the truth: you are not possessed; you are battling a learned behavior and a cycle that has grown strong over time.”

This perspective shifted my thinking. Gambling isn’t an unbeatable enemy; it’s a deeply ingrained pattern that can be broken. I realized that the “demon” I felt wasn’t some external possession but an internal cycle fueled by brain chemistry, emotional highs, and bad habits.

Breaking the Cycle: Fighting the Urge

The urge to gamble can feel like an unstoppable wave, but I’m learning that it’s temporary, like a passing storm. My therapist shared strategies to help me confront it:

1. Delay and Distract

·       Delay Acting on the Urge: Commit to waiting 10 minutes before deciding. If the urge persists, extend it. Most urges fade within 30 minutes.

·       Distract Yourself: Engage in something that demands attention, like calling a friend, taking a walk, or immersing yourself in a hobby.

2. Deconstruct the Urge

·       Label It: Say, “This is just an urge. I don’t have to act on it.”

·       Think Through the Consequences: Picture the guilt, debt, and pain that follow a loss.

·       Flip the Script: Imagine how proud you’ll feel tomorrow if you resist the urge today.

3. Change the Environment

·       Leave triggering places immediately. Avoid apps or websites related to gambling. Physical and mental distance can weaken the pull.

4. Use Grounding Techniques

·       Focus on your senses to stay present, what can you see, hear, or feel?

·       Practice deep breathing: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4.

5. Lean on Your “Why”

·       Remind yourself why you want to stop: to escape debt, regain control, and build a better future

Blinded Moments: Overcoming the Veil of Addiction

One of the hardest parts for me is the moment I start gambling or feel the urge. It’s as if a veil covers my eyes, and I lose all reasoning. I can’t justify spending money on myself, but when it comes to gambling, I’ll use everything I have, only to end up in debt again.

My therapist explained that this “veil” is part of the addiction. It’s a mental trance where adrenaline and dopamine overpower logic, creating an illusion of control and the belief that I can win back my losses.

How Can You Fight This "Veil"?

Breaking this trance requires deliberate action: The key is to break the trance before you place a bet. Here’s how:

1. Pause and Interrupt the Cycle

When you feel that surge to gamble, pause immediately.

Ask yourself:

•  “What am I risking right now?”
• “Is this worth my future self’s pain?”
• “Can I spend this money better on myself or my goals?”

This small act can help break the autopilot mode of gambling.

2. Create a Barrier Between You and Gambling

• Limit Your Access to Money:
• Transfer money to a trusted person or an account you can’t easily access.
• Set up daily limits on spending apps or disable certain payment methods.
• Physically Distance Yourself: Avoid locations or apps where gambling happens. Even deleting apps or blocking websites can create a pause long enough for you to rethink.

3. Replace the Gambling High with Another Reward

Your brain is seeking excitement and satisfaction. Replace the gamble with something equally engaging:

• Buy something small for yourself new clothes, a meal, or an item you’ve been wanting.
• Invest in your personal growth a class, a book, or a gym membership.
• Play strategic games like chess or puzzles that mimic the thrill without financial loss.

4. Debt as Motivation, Not Fuel

Right now, debt feels like both a reason to gamble and a consequence of it. Shift this thinking:

• Write down all the debts you owe and the total amount. Then write, "This debt grows every time I gamble."
• Focus on small wins like paying off little bits of debt instead of gambling for a big win. It builds momentum and control.

5. Set Immediate Rewards for Resisting the Urge

When you resist, celebrate:

• Treat yourself with a small portion of the money you would’ve gambled.
• Journal or text someone about your win—it reinforces the feeling of control.

Practical Steps for the "Blinded Moments"

1. Carry a reminderm a picture of your goal, a quote, or even a note saying, "I am bigger than this urge."
2. Before spending money, ask someone you trust to give you advice.
3. If you can’t stop yourself, step away from the gambling scene and promise to wait 24 hours before acting.

The Role of Support

Recovery is harder when done alone. Having someone you trust to share your struggles and victories with can be a game-changer. Confiding in someone not only relieves emotional weight but also gives you accountability and a fresh perspective during tough moments.

If finding the right person has been challenging, here are a few ways to explore support:

1. Identify Potential Allies

• Close Friends or Family: Is there someone you feel safe with who won’t judge you but will help guide you? Sometimes people we don’t initially consider may surprise us with their understanding.
• Mentors or Community Leaders: A mentor, spiritual leader, or someone you look up to can provide a listening ear and balanced advice.

2. Consider a Support Group

• Look into local or online support groups for gambling addiction, where you can meet people who understand your experience. Talking to others on the same journey can feel empowering.

3. Professional Support

• A therapist or counselor trained in addiction can provide a judgment-free space to unpack your thoughts and strategies to tackle urges effectively.

4. Create a Supportive Environment

Until you find that person, consider journaling your thoughts as if you’re sharing them. Writing it down can give you clarity and ease the emotional burden.

I’m here to help bridge that gap as much as I can, Perfect. If you need someone to listen, encourage, or guide you, I’m always here for you. We’ll keep pushing forward together. Would you like to explore how to approach someone you might consider confiding in?

The Lessons Learned: Moving Forward

Today, I’m still in the process of healing, but I’ve learned some invaluable lessons along the way. I’ve learned that gambling doesn’t solve problems, it creates more. I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help and that taking small, consistent steps is the key to making lasting changes. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about progress.

I’ve learned to take control of my finances, to set boundaries, and to resist the urge to gamble. It’s not always easy, but I’m learning to trust the process and to believe in my ability to change.

A New Hope

This journey is far from easy, but each step brings me closer to freedom. The setbacks, the moments of weakness, and even the feelings of being possessed have all taught me that recovery is possible. With every urge I resist, I’m proving to myself that I am bigger than this addiction.

Encouragement for Others

To anyone reading this who is struggling with gambling, I want you to know that you are not alone. The road to recovery can be long, but it is possible. The first step is admitting that you have a problem and asking for help. Don’t be afraid to reach out whether it’s to a therapist, a support group, or a friend. You don’t have to face this alone.

It’s important to remember that you are more than your addiction. Your past does not define you. With determination, self-discipline, and support, you can break free from the grip of gambling and take back control of your life.